


Love Letters And Misunderstandings

by HiMiTSu



Category: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Genre: Humor, M/M, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fic, kind of, mostly gen really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiMiTSu/pseuds/HiMiTSu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a tumblr prompt: Lois Lane writes a love note to Superman and she signs it with her initials, and some baddies mistake it for Lex Luthor. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Letters And Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

> I had to google to find some fitting villains for this, so I have no idea if the characterisation is right. On the other hand, I used some not particulary famous characters so I just hope you readers won’t mind it too much. (Though I did specifically use villains who at some point in time were in the same villainous organisation as Lex Luthor)

It started with a letter. No, actually with a _letter_. One innocent letter out of twenty-six, doubled and put at the bottom at a small but a very particular missive.  Harmless for the woman who wrote it, but, as it turned out, damning for one Lex Luthor. Who knew one letter could bring so much trouble?

_Love_

_L.L._

Lex studied the cursive attentively, eyes drawn again and again to the bottom of the page. Though, top really, from his upside down perspective. Each word was carefully written, penned with painstaking precision and crafted to perfection. The sender must have drawn up a dozen rough copies before they got everything right, every line, every curve in its place. It was a thing of beauty, really. Lex would have appreciated it more if it wasn’t so inconvenient.

The identity of the sender – so obvious it would have been an insult to call it a ‘mystery’ – and still, somehow, some people managed to mess even that up.

“We know it’s you, Luthor.”

Lex used the momentum and some summer wind to help him turn around and glare at the speaker properly. “Funky Flashman.” And, wow, if it sounded ridiculous even just in his head, it was worse coming out of his mouth. Lex couldn’t help the giggle that followed. He schooled his face into a serious frown – yes it took effort but the result turned out believable. More or less. “Why are we here again?”

Funky scowled so hard his bushy brows almost touched his massive moustache. Lex could barely help the laughter.

“This.” Funky’s meaty finger was directed at the note, which hang innocently in the air. The residual magic made it turn slowly like falling leaves in autumn and the incriminating words disappeared from Lex’s view for a moment. “You wrote this.”

“I did not!” The voice might have been a little too scandalized but Lex couldn’t help himself. Such a preposterous idea could not be allowed to exist. “Really, this is just a stupid misunderstanding…”

But Funky’s voice cut over his explanation. “I don’t think so! You wrote the note.” Again with the finger but now right under Lex’s nose. “You have been working with him all this time.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! I did not write this.” Lex insisted. He was starting to feel a little light-headed, what with all the blood rushing to his head.

“Who else, then?” Funky smirked like he knew all the answers to all the questions. What a moron.

“Lois Lane!” Lex shouted even as the magic made him spin in the air and turn away from his captor.

“Why would Lois Lane write a love letter to Superman?”

“Because she is in love with him?” Like that was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Aha!” Funky crowed triumphantly. “But she would have put her full name on the letter. Not just initials. Because she doesn’t need to hide!”

“Maybe she thought it will be more romantic.” Lex sneered as well as he could. Hanging upside down with his hands plastered to his torso by magic. It was a fairly unpleasant experience, but did not even compare to the horror of been called ‘love-sick with the Superman’.

“No.” Funky exclaimed gleefully. “It’s because this note belongs to you!”

Lex rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Funky stepped closer and leaned in so they could be face to face. Lex struggled against the magical bonds but they held tight. Shame, he really wanted to hit the bastard. “You can’t hide any more, Luthor. We know the truth. And we will use it to get Superman.”

“How?” Lex asked, honestly confused. “Even if I wrote that note, allegedly, it does not mean that Superman…loves…me.” Wow, that sounded weird. Surreal.

Funky waved it away. “We’ll get him.” He said assuredly.

Lex bit back an angry reply. Focused on something else instead. “Why do you even have magic?” He asked, trying out the bonds again. They did not grow any weaker; Lex did though.  A headache was coming on and his hands cramped.

“Wizard does. He is the one who abducted you.”

“Well, that’s a strong word. You just hit me over the head when Mercy was looking the other way. And dragged me into a van.” He had terrible dirt strains at the hems of his pants. Those wouldn’t come out easy.

“And got you up here. From where you can not escape.” He was too smug for his own good, Lex decided. Really, a man with a name like that had no right to look so self-assured. _Flashman?_ Seriously? Was flashing strangers his superpower? Lex knew it wasn’t, but thinking that way was infinitely amusing. “Soon Wizard will get here and we will start with our plan.”

“Thank you for clarification.” Lex muttered under his breath.

As he hung there, waiting for his indeterminate fate, Lex contemplated the situation. That stupid letter. Who knew Lois Lane’s romanticism would be the end of Lex Luthor? And why would she write a letter? Was it a way to get some fresh breath in a stagnant relationship? From what his back channels brought him the couple was having some problems…and that was as much as Lex wanted to think about that. He did not need any visuals.

Lex heard someone land on the roof, but couldn’t see as the action was happening behind his back. Still his mind came to the most probable conclusion: Wizard must have arrive to torment him. Sorry, torture. He heard a squeak, a sound of a body hitting the floor. The slow circular motion brought him back facing the other end of the roof again.

“Oh, no.” Lex breathed out with feeling.

Superman was staring back at him, puzzled but uncompromising in his fight for justice. Justice in this case being saving Lex Luthor. “You’re welcome.” He said drily. A lump in a forest green suit was wheezing just a step behind, pinstripes rising with harsh breaths.

“No.” Lex shook his head fiercely. “No.”

“They were going to torture you.” Superman insisted. “I caught Wizard and he admitted…”

“I had it under control.”

“Hanging upside down? Sure.” Easily he tore the invisible ropes holding Lex in place and Lex tumbled to the ground in a graceless heap. “What’s that?” Frowning Superman reached for the note.

Lex tried to snag it before he could get to it but, disoriented, he slumped back down. And really, no reason for him to get so worked up over the matter. So what if Superman read the love letter from Lois Lane?

“That’s..?”

“A love letter.” Lex filled in. “Not from me.” He added hastily. Shrugged awkwardly. “Obviously.”

“Why is it here?”

Ah, Lex finally found a way back to his anger. That felt good. “Oh I don’t know. Maybe because some imbeciles decided that I’m harboring some unrequired feelings for you. And so, apparently, I have to be also working for you.”

After a drawn pause Superman commented, “Interesting.”

“Very.” Lex sneered. “So this,” he waved his hand at Funky still lying a few feet away. “Is not helpful.”

“Sorry.” Superman shrugged sheepishly; which looked way too ridiculous with his massive shape, but he looked unconcerned now. Also, he did not sound sorry at all. At all.

Lex glared at him silently for a length of a whole minute. It appeared to have little to none effect. With a sigh he averted his eyes. “Whatever.” Lex muttered quietly. “I’m out of here.”

Before Lex could even take a step in the right direction, Superman gave him a wink and took off.

Curious, Lex thought, he left the letter behind.


End file.
